Never talk to the police

Ever, ever, ever. Not when you’re in the right. Not when you’re sure that being cooperative and reasonable will clear things up. Don’t let your kid talk to them. Just don’t do it. And yes, that story is obviously police overreacting. But that’s the point. Unless your lawyer is present, pretend you’re a prisoner of war. Except you’re a POW that doesn’t even have to give name, rank, and serial number.

Never trust the justice system

Repeat after me: never trust that the justice system works. Never talk to a cop. Never sign anything presented to you by a cop unless your lawyer has told you to. Never, ever, think that things will work themselves out because you’re a good person and surely this is all just a big mistake.

Death by IM

What a bizarre story. Of course, similar stories from last century abound - using letters instead of AIM, of course.

The long con

I try to imagine living a lie like this, and it actually unnerves me. I would be freaking out the entire time, expecting to get caught, distrusting everyone. It sounds like a living hell.


If I was going to become a criminal, I think I would take up counterfeiting. The guys in this article made millions of dollars and are going to prison for seven years. That’s nothing!

Another death-row inmate exonerated

Shockingly un-shocking. But remember, according to Scalia, no innocent man has ever been executed! Another tick in the list of reasons why I’m against the death penalty.

Stealing the Mona Lisa

Now I know where all of those cartoons from my childhood got their “art theft” plots. I mean, how many times did I see the Beagle Boys try and steal the Mona Lisa, only to be foiled by Scrooge McDuck?